METTA ON A MONDAY AND MY HEART STOOD STILL
I went to hear groovy meditation Goddess Sharon Salzberg (http://www.sharonsalzberg.com/index.htm) teach in Brooklyn recently at Jaya Yoga Center (www.jayayogacenter.com). One of the best parts of the evening was when she led us through a Metta Meditation in which we focused loving energies first on ourselves, and then onto loved ones and mentors and even strangers. Metta is a Sanskrit word for loving-kindness. But in the rough-edged lingo of a classic rock chick from Queens, who called Manhattan home for decades, and now mixes it up in Crooklyn: Give Peace a Chance –– Or Else! Lemme splain:
Like most Native New Yorkers I was raised on two emotions: love and hate. Okay, mostly hate! Back in workin’ class Archie Bunker Queens, we had a lot of nothing and we hated the “haves”. Then I went away to college at SUNY Purchase, a high falutin’ arts school. And now I’m all grown up and living the writer’s life in a beautifully tree-filled parted of New York Cit-ay. I’m surrounded by peace-lovers and yet, I sometimes wish folks would just get their hate on like they did back in my misspent youth.
DR. JEKYLL, I PRESUME?
I sometimes feel like Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde (thanks Sean Young!) … by day a nurturing figure of love for the writers who come to me for practical help and much motherly reassurance; by night a writer myself who is as susceptible to the demons of random rage as the next passionate wordsmith. Calgon, take me away! But to where? Where can a person escape the constant pull between the grounded good citizen and the killer inside?
For help with this question I turn to one of my favorite films (based on the spookiest of gothic novels): “The Night of the Hunter.” There’s a great scene where Robert Mitchum as a terrifying preacher/con-man acts out the warring impulses in men’s souls. He wildly demonstrates the pull between God’s Love and the Devil’s Hate –– using his hands, eerily tattooed finger by finger with the words, L-O-V-E and H-A-T-E on each beefy paw.
EXTERNALIZE THE ANGER, LOVEY!
Last week, in the Brooklyn Bang the Keys Workshop, I had a strong feeling that what my groovy students and scribe-mates might need is a red-hot love injection of good old fashioned hate. My instinct was right. As it turned out, folks were in a bit of a funky cold medina state of malaise (apologies, Tone Loc) and were feely unusually dulled and down. Trust me these folks are usually wild and wiley!
The way past that general feeling of low-level depression (“why bother?”, “who’s going to care anyway?” etc.) was by going through some exercises of hate, as a way to exorcise the self-hating feelings common to all writers which have a way of manifesting as apathy and a resistance to the simple act of sitting down and banging those keys.
(Shameless book plug: “Bang the Keys” to be released by Penguin this August! March into your local bookseller and say, “I Want My ‘Bang the Keys’!” And after you receive the proper eye-rolling response, politely ask them to order the book for you and your writer buds.)
TIPS & TOOLS, TOOTS
So, below I share with you some Bang the Keys exercises to help you to love your tortured writer self, and then work through some rage, in an effort to get some words on the page. It worked for this tough but tender group of writers who entered my laboratory as watered down Dr. Jekylls, allowed themselves to be pumped up to energized and mad Dr. Hydes, and left with some sense of how to find what the Buddha called The Middle Path. And you can too, Scribesters!
And if you too distracted to even get to Point A, might I suggest some tips from the latest technology?
www.macfreedom.com -- it will force you to stay offline long enough to write (for a minimum of an hour at a time). And it’s free!
Writeroom: It allows you to write on a black screen with a green blinking cursor –– very helpful for those of us who still wax poetic about the “Wang” computers of the ‘80s, and for anyone who likes to shut off the high tech visual distractions of their computer screen. It’s free for a month and then $24.95 to buy: www.hogbaysoftware.com/products/writeroom.
www.joesaidso.com - instead of letting technology glitches and problems overwhelm you and take you away from your work as a writer, go to Joe to get your questions answered, stat! Me loves him.
And if you are still wondering, why bother with a writing “practice” at all, check out David Brooks’ opinion piece in today’s NYTimes: Genius: the Modern View: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/opinion/01brooks.html.
WRITING EXERCISES:
1. Metta
Find a comfortable sitting position, close your eyes and simply observe your breath. When you are ready, silently repeat these phrases to yourself: “May I be safe”; “May I be happy”; “May I be healthy”; “May I live with ease.” Try five minutes and see what that does for your mood.
2. Enter: Cretin
I often call upon writers to channel their literary heroes for advice and inspiration. But in this case, I ask you to summon up your literary foe. Imagine the writer, or lit-world pest who most sticks in your craw. You are a superhero and you have a super-rival. This is a person who is deeply oblivious to your fabulosity and whom you detest with a passion!
Now, for ten minutes write out a scene in which you hail victorious. It is your moment of glory –– whether you’ve won the Oscar and Hollywood Hackzoid is in the audience to see it, or whatever scene most taps in to your revenge fantasies. Write in detail and fully commit to your victory and to his or her utter humiliation. Sweet, huh?
Okay, you did your Metta meditation, you worked out some of your anger with the above revenge exercise. Now….
3. “Freudian Slip”
Imagine one of your characters is in a foul mood. The mixed up voices in his head are distracting him, and he inadvertently says the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. Now, he’s got to squirm through the awkward explanation of what he meant or deal with the damage he cause or both. He must respond to the tension, conflict or crisis he just unconsciously created. Work on this scene for ten minutes, minimum, and remember what Henry James said: “Readers love to watch characters suffer.” “The Master” was not suggesting that readers are sadistic, merely that they, and we, seek to understand humanness, not the presentation of a story, but the emotional experience of characters who are as real as we are.
It seems incongruous to say it now, but I shall: Peace out!
For more: www.bangthekeys.com
The Bang the Keys Fan Page is Up and Running on Facebook. Ain’t that swell? Take a look-see…
http://www.facebook.com/n/?pages/BANG-THE-KEYS-Four-Steps-to-a-Lifelong-Writing-Practice/74158144403&mid=607472G2ba87a17G18db757G24
Friday, May 1, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Pages Not Promises!
This week I banged out the phrase “PAGES NOT PROMISES!”
Run with it, people. There are enough opportunities to rant and blather (such as my blog!) in our busy 21st Century Universe. But for writers, it’s pages not promises that count.
So why is it so hard for writers to actually get the content of their work down on paper? By content, I DO NOT mean emails, ideas, journal entries, brainstorming sessions, etc. I mean prose (or dialogue if you’re a scriptwriter).
Oftentimes it is because writers are so horrified by how foolish their prose or their plays look when printed out (forgive the alliteration). We want our words to come out polished the first time. Or at least the second or third. Oftentimes it takes much, much longer.
In this weekend’s New York Times Arts & Leisure section, the paper featured a dual interview with actors James Gandolfini and Jeff Daniels who are co-starring (along with Marcia Gay Harden and Hope Davis) in Yasmina Reza’s Broadway play, God of Carnage. Check out this excerpt:
For awhile, Mr. Gandolfini said, he felt “pretty lost” and made that clear to the others. Finally he said “Jeff said, ‘Look, we’re all going through the same thing. It’s just the way it is. You’ve got to feel like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing for a while. It’s going to settle down. Shut up!’ … in a nice way.”
First of all, who doesn’t love the idea of mild-mannered Jeff Daniels telling tough lug James Gandolfini that basically every one of us is shaking in our boots when we are first making art. Give over to this fact. And shaddup!
Reading this piece reminded me of the Charlie Rose interview with Frank Langella that aired the night before the Oscars. The brilliant Langella was nominated for his completely absorbing portrayal of Richard Nixon. But playing that role was probably a cakewalk compared to how the surly Rose badgered him “at the table”. Basically, Rose wanted to know how Langella “did it.” For much of the interview Langella shares elegant generalities:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhQJ_1JdTyw
but after these well-chosen words Rose starts hammering the poor guy, demanding he reveal the secret to his performance. Langella keeps saying things like he had to “go deeper” and just keep working hard, but Rose wouldn’t let up. Finally Langella said something to the effect of, “I had to make a fool of myself!” He explained how he showed up on the set, early on, and did a Nixon imitation that sounded like Jimmy Stewart. And it only got worse from there. But eventually, he found his way. And what a beautiful job he did.
Now I seriously doubt any of us couch loving, cookie eating, complaining and uncoiffed writers could have showed the guts Langella did in taking on the role of Nixon, or the guts that Gandolfini has, playing live nightly on B-way with hi-falutin’ actors, after so many years of being only thought of as Tony Soprano. But somehow these guys have the stones to do it. So can’t we be just a little bit brave, fellow key-bangers, and risk making total fools of ourselves in the spirit of creating art that matters, or just simple “entertainments”?
Yes, we can! And here’s how. Try these exercises, and as always, pass ‘em along to your scribey pals. For more: www.bangthekeys.com Good luck, fellow fools!
Exercise #1: Runaway Character
Imagine one of your characters runs away with your story. Example. You know that the young son of your protagonist is going to steal money from another kid. That’s how you’ve seen the story and the character. Well, what if you write a version of the scene in which the kid makes some other choice? Step 10 minutes or write 500 words or a few handwritten pages on this. Really take some risks!
Afterwards write a note to yourself about what you can use from this exercise to help your piece and your process.
Exercise #2: Most embarrassing scene
Write a scene (for your eyes only) that you’d be absolutely horrified to show to someone (pick a specific person) in your life. Example, your spouse would call you a disgusting psycho or your brother would call you a vindictive liar if they read it. You get the idea. Write the scene that you would least like to reveal to a living person, and write it with all you’ve got.
Afterwards, circle or underline the great little nuggets that jump out at you from this perverse little exercise in letting go of your inhibitions!
Let me know how it goes!
Jill “Bang the Keys” Dearman
Run with it, people. There are enough opportunities to rant and blather (such as my blog!) in our busy 21st Century Universe. But for writers, it’s pages not promises that count.
So why is it so hard for writers to actually get the content of their work down on paper? By content, I DO NOT mean emails, ideas, journal entries, brainstorming sessions, etc. I mean prose (or dialogue if you’re a scriptwriter).
Oftentimes it is because writers are so horrified by how foolish their prose or their plays look when printed out (forgive the alliteration). We want our words to come out polished the first time. Or at least the second or third. Oftentimes it takes much, much longer.
In this weekend’s New York Times Arts & Leisure section, the paper featured a dual interview with actors James Gandolfini and Jeff Daniels who are co-starring (along with Marcia Gay Harden and Hope Davis) in Yasmina Reza’s Broadway play, God of Carnage. Check out this excerpt:
For awhile, Mr. Gandolfini said, he felt “pretty lost” and made that clear to the others. Finally he said “Jeff said, ‘Look, we’re all going through the same thing. It’s just the way it is. You’ve got to feel like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing for a while. It’s going to settle down. Shut up!’ … in a nice way.”
First of all, who doesn’t love the idea of mild-mannered Jeff Daniels telling tough lug James Gandolfini that basically every one of us is shaking in our boots when we are first making art. Give over to this fact. And shaddup!
Reading this piece reminded me of the Charlie Rose interview with Frank Langella that aired the night before the Oscars. The brilliant Langella was nominated for his completely absorbing portrayal of Richard Nixon. But playing that role was probably a cakewalk compared to how the surly Rose badgered him “at the table”. Basically, Rose wanted to know how Langella “did it.” For much of the interview Langella shares elegant generalities:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhQJ_1JdTyw
but after these well-chosen words Rose starts hammering the poor guy, demanding he reveal the secret to his performance. Langella keeps saying things like he had to “go deeper” and just keep working hard, but Rose wouldn’t let up. Finally Langella said something to the effect of, “I had to make a fool of myself!” He explained how he showed up on the set, early on, and did a Nixon imitation that sounded like Jimmy Stewart. And it only got worse from there. But eventually, he found his way. And what a beautiful job he did.
Now I seriously doubt any of us couch loving, cookie eating, complaining and uncoiffed writers could have showed the guts Langella did in taking on the role of Nixon, or the guts that Gandolfini has, playing live nightly on B-way with hi-falutin’ actors, after so many years of being only thought of as Tony Soprano. But somehow these guys have the stones to do it. So can’t we be just a little bit brave, fellow key-bangers, and risk making total fools of ourselves in the spirit of creating art that matters, or just simple “entertainments”?
Yes, we can! And here’s how. Try these exercises, and as always, pass ‘em along to your scribey pals. For more: www.bangthekeys.com Good luck, fellow fools!
Exercise #1: Runaway Character
Imagine one of your characters runs away with your story. Example. You know that the young son of your protagonist is going to steal money from another kid. That’s how you’ve seen the story and the character. Well, what if you write a version of the scene in which the kid makes some other choice? Step 10 minutes or write 500 words or a few handwritten pages on this. Really take some risks!
Afterwards write a note to yourself about what you can use from this exercise to help your piece and your process.
Exercise #2: Most embarrassing scene
Write a scene (for your eyes only) that you’d be absolutely horrified to show to someone (pick a specific person) in your life. Example, your spouse would call you a disgusting psycho or your brother would call you a vindictive liar if they read it. You get the idea. Write the scene that you would least like to reveal to a living person, and write it with all you’ve got.
Afterwards, circle or underline the great little nuggets that jump out at you from this perverse little exercise in letting go of your inhibitions!
Let me know how it goes!
Jill “Bang the Keys” Dearman
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Writing Exercise for Rashomon, Citizen Kane Fans
We are all the heroes of our own journeys, but we are all stuck in our own points of view too. (Deep, huh)? Before I pontificate madly, let me just offer up a quickfire writing challenge to those of you who may feel too attached to your particular story to see it clearly.
1. In a sentence or 2 or 3 if need be write out the story of your
whole piece (very concrete in terms of narrative): "This is the story
of a man who gets fired from his banking job and decides to take a
trip cross country to visit his brother ..."
that kinda thing.
2. Now imagine someone you respect, but who looks at life, writing, etc.
very differently than you. And imagine their voice describing your
story, but giving their unique perspective. Then write in their voice,
"This is the story of ..."
3. Do it again w/other person.
4. Do it again (thanks Steely Dan), but this time imagining someone who could really blow your mind, a real contrarian who is bound to have a very different take on
your story.
Please note: if you are basically saying the same thing in different ways,
stretch a little. Really aim to pull out different perspectives (a la
Rashoman, Citizen Kane) on the same story.
Then next to #s 2, 3, 4 right a quick note to yourself -- a word, no
more than a sentence in which you can then apply this person's notes
later. Example "Explore revenge theme."
Good luck and let me know how it goes!
And if you want to mainline some inspiration, rent Rashomon & Citizen Kane... NOW. (Netflix be warned).
--Jill Dearman,
writing coach, editor, author, film lover and so many other identities too, why just like you, you and you!
www.bangthekeys.com
1. In a sentence or 2 or 3 if need be write out the story of your
whole piece (very concrete in terms of narrative): "This is the story
of a man who gets fired from his banking job and decides to take a
trip cross country to visit his brother ..."
that kinda thing.
2. Now imagine someone you respect, but who looks at life, writing, etc.
very differently than you. And imagine their voice describing your
story, but giving their unique perspective. Then write in their voice,
"This is the story of ..."
3. Do it again w/other person.
4. Do it again (thanks Steely Dan), but this time imagining someone who could really blow your mind, a real contrarian who is bound to have a very different take on
your story.
Please note: if you are basically saying the same thing in different ways,
stretch a little. Really aim to pull out different perspectives (a la
Rashoman, Citizen Kane) on the same story.
Then next to #s 2, 3, 4 right a quick note to yourself -- a word, no
more than a sentence in which you can then apply this person's notes
later. Example "Explore revenge theme."
Good luck and let me know how it goes!
And if you want to mainline some inspiration, rent Rashomon & Citizen Kane... NOW. (Netflix be warned).
--Jill Dearman,
writing coach, editor, author, film lover and so many other identities too, why just like you, you and you!
www.bangthekeys.com
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Captain’s Log …I Mean … Writing Coach’s Blog / January 27, 2009
GET PHYSICAL, MATEY!
This morning I felt the storm brewing … in my knee. Yes, I was once a sea-faring scoundrel, seeking out rum and no good pirating crimes on the ocean waves with fellow scalawags. Well, actually, I guess as a land-bound New Yorker that’s not exactly true. But, I did feel some sort of pressure in my knee this morning and it did give me a visceral sense of wet weather headed this way. And this strange ache in my knee drew me instantly to the page. Like many of you, and many of my writing clients, I have moments these days when it is very hard to sit down and write. There is so much to worry about in this world; the times are very precarious and everyone’s a little on edge, even with the big O (not Oprah, the other O) in office. But somehow, I have found, to focus on the physical world (starting with one’s own body, and then spreading out to the world beyond), is very grounding and productive, for writers. It’s very mood-elevating too in these worrisome times. There is so much we don’t have control over, but we can control this … (read on, mates):
1. Take 20 minutes, as soon as possible …TODAY to sit down and write.
2. First Five minutes: Focus on the physical. What part of your body is “speaking” to you? See if you can describe the physical sensations in as much detail as possible. One paragraph that encapsulates the tangible experience.
3. Next fifteen minutes: Use what you just wrote as a jumping off point or “way in” to a scene in your current writing project. If you are stuck, then start something new; the only requirement is to find some sort of link between what you just wrote and the new piece you are beginning.
4. Pass this along to someone you know. I am a writer myself, I coach, teach and edit writers and I know what a tortured bunch this clan seems to be! You will be doing a great mitzvah (good deed, dudes) if you help a stuck, surly or bored writer to get out of his/her head and onto the page…through the body.
Keep on trekkin’!
And let me know how it goes.
--Jill “Bang the Keys” Dearman.
www.bangthekeys.com
This morning I felt the storm brewing … in my knee. Yes, I was once a sea-faring scoundrel, seeking out rum and no good pirating crimes on the ocean waves with fellow scalawags. Well, actually, I guess as a land-bound New Yorker that’s not exactly true. But, I did feel some sort of pressure in my knee this morning and it did give me a visceral sense of wet weather headed this way. And this strange ache in my knee drew me instantly to the page. Like many of you, and many of my writing clients, I have moments these days when it is very hard to sit down and write. There is so much to worry about in this world; the times are very precarious and everyone’s a little on edge, even with the big O (not Oprah, the other O) in office. But somehow, I have found, to focus on the physical world (starting with one’s own body, and then spreading out to the world beyond), is very grounding and productive, for writers. It’s very mood-elevating too in these worrisome times. There is so much we don’t have control over, but we can control this … (read on, mates):
1. Take 20 minutes, as soon as possible …TODAY to sit down and write.
2. First Five minutes: Focus on the physical. What part of your body is “speaking” to you? See if you can describe the physical sensations in as much detail as possible. One paragraph that encapsulates the tangible experience.
3. Next fifteen minutes: Use what you just wrote as a jumping off point or “way in” to a scene in your current writing project. If you are stuck, then start something new; the only requirement is to find some sort of link between what you just wrote and the new piece you are beginning.
4. Pass this along to someone you know. I am a writer myself, I coach, teach and edit writers and I know what a tortured bunch this clan seems to be! You will be doing a great mitzvah (good deed, dudes) if you help a stuck, surly or bored writer to get out of his/her head and onto the page…through the body.
Keep on trekkin’!
And let me know how it goes.
--Jill “Bang the Keys” Dearman.
www.bangthekeys.com
Thursday, January 1, 2009
1st Writing Exercises & Wkshps for the NewYr (and Kiss My Grits)!
Happy New Year!
Still emotionally hungover from last year? I feel you; yet as 2009 begins, I am at a loss for deep thoughts for you. It’s the recession, doll, and even the Dali Lama (I’ll bet!) is secretly thinking, “This economy is bumming me out!” And so, dear ones, although I am reading Orwell, along with the Tibetan Book of the Dead, it is actually an episode from my sitcom-filled ‘70s childhood that I share with you today, for its wisdom and concrete help.
Quick Preview First …
As I connected with friends and family over the holidays I was struck by two realizations:
1. We are all feeling a little exhausted from what was a very trying 2008; the good news is: there is a feeling of compassion in the air. Look around. Everyone is suffering or worrying in some way, so at least we can meet each other’s eyes (or ck each other’s updates!) and know we are not alone.
2. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could walk in each other’s boots for awhile?
If I could give a depressed friend my sense of initiative and optimism I would. Accessing those qualities is easy for me. What I have trouble with is containing my emotions. Oh how I’d love it if a cool-headed pal could give me some Obama-esque evenness just when I’m about to panic. (New York Jews, I know you relate to the hysteria of which I speak). We don’t choose our natures, and tolerating our own emotional challenges (and each other’s) is a daily test of compassion.
Okay, all that feeling is so 2008. Let’s get practical. My vice is dark chocolate (70 –85 % cocoa content). I have friends whose vices include online shopping, procrastinating, and good wine. (And good whine too, now that I think of it).
While ruminating on my own circle of peeps, a microchosm of humanity … I thought of an episode from “Alice” – the late ‘70s sitcom about the single mom waitress, based on the 1974 Scorsese movie, “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.” The TV show, of course, was best known for sassy waitress Flo’s frequent retort, “Kiss my grits.” The episode I remembered was called “Block those Kicks” and focused on (Diner Proprietor) Mel’s efforts to kick his gambling habit. The girls (waitresses Alice, Flo and ditzy Vera) decide to help the big lug by giving up their vices (chocolate, coffee and tobacco, respectively) in a show of support … for 48 hours. Need I tell you that hijinks ensue?
My book, Bang the Keys: Four Steps to a Lifelong Writing Practice, comes out with Penguin this summer. But who can wait that long?? In the meantime:
FIRST WRITING (AND LIFE!) EXERCISE FOR 2009:
If you’re a writer, this should be easy and fun (oh, wait, I forgot you are a writer and are tortured!!):
1. Take a handful of your characters and explore their vices. My recommendation is to write a scene in which your gambler, womanizer, self-mutilator, etc. actually is immersed in his vice, so we can see it, feel it, experience it with him. Try 500 words to start. But if it’s too hard to get there right away, try just free-writing (5 minutes, without stopping, completely uncensored) about this character and his vice, in a free-associative way. Do this for a 2nd character, then a 3rd then a 4th.
2. Next: switch your characters’ vices. Imagine your rigid, uptight planner now suffers from extreme naivete, or cocaine addiction, or foot-in-mouth syndrome. Try the above exercise with this new vice. Then give your 2nd character a different vice, and your 3rd, and your 4th. Put them in a room together; see what happens.
If you are just starting out and don’t know where to begin, begin with a character’s compulsion and see where it takes you. If you are far along in your writing, but are experiencing the “So-what blues” then give your characters a vice that you can relate to or that you have observed in a friend, or one you can vividly imagine.
Since writing and real life overlap a great deal in my world, let me add this: as an exercise in empathy and generosity, offer up some support to a friend struggling with a particular monkey-on-the-back, and ask for support with yours. And if you have to start gambling (like a buddy) in order to kick your own caffeine habit (or vice versa) …so be it! And I swear to you, I will discover the Dali Lama’s vice … if it takes me all of 2009! And now …
Is one of your New Year’s resolutions for 2009 to get some writing done? Then read on, and don’t weep …
WRITING WORKSHOPS FOR THE NEW YEAR:
Limited space, SIGN UP NOW.
Create A Writing Practice That Will Last A Lifetime.
My Manhattan "BANG THE KEYS" writing workshop runs Tues nights
Jan 20, 27, Feb 3, 10, 17 & 24
6:30 to 8:30 on W. 43rd St near 8th Ave. $250
I’ll also be doing a Wed night wkshp in Brooklyn:
Jan 21, 28, Feb. 4, 11, 18, and 25 from 6-8pm. $250
Payment plans possible for this crap-pay economy.
Write to JillDearman@gmail.com / or leave msg at 212.841.0177 now to reserve your spot.
To get a sense of how I work check out my Writer Magazine article, "Which Type of Writer are YOU?" www.jilldearman.com/JillWriterMagNov07.pdf
And see my website for client endorsements: www.jilldearman.com/services.html
The Workshop:
As a bon vivant New Yorker do you find it hard to say no to cocktails at five and yes to sitting down to write a thousand words? This workshop is just as lively and intoxicating as a drunken brouhaha but without the maudlin regrets.
In this workshop you will:
•Set a writing goal (with deadline!) and meet it.
•Structure your time so that you actually keep your fabulous NY life (well most of it) AND get some writing done.
•Develop tools that will help you to independently continue your writing practice.
• Develop methods for writing regularly and productively rather than just when the muse strikes.
• Connect with supportive and dedicated fellow writers
Say yes to your writing and no to distractions and defeatist thinking…or shut up already!
Please feel free to pass along to any scribes in your circle of friends, colleagues and co-conspirators. (FYI, as a private writing coach I see a limited number of folks in Brooklyn and Manhattan and have many private phone clients outside of NYC. Write to me and we can figure out a strategy for you to kick your blocks in ’09. Pls. Forward this note, or link to my blog to your writerly pals): www.jilldearman.blogspot.com
I can be reached for all questions at jilldearman@gmail.com
My website is www.bangthekeys.com
And now, what you’ve been waiting for:
THERE’S A NEW GIRL IN TOWN AND SHE’S…LOOKING GOOD!
A taste of the “Alice” episode in question:
Flo: Well, all right, I'll go along, Mel. I'm willing to give up the thing that means most to me.
Mel: That's bad news for half of the guys in Phoenix.
Flo: I was talkin' about coffee!
“Alice” sitcom theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=423L76rzui8
and by the way. Anyone who knows George Russell … chiropractor, and fellow bon vivant, it’s hard not to think of him when watching that vid.
Happy New Year!
Still emotionally hungover from last year? I feel you; yet as 2009 begins, I am at a loss for deep thoughts for you. It’s the recession, doll, and even the Dali Lama (I’ll bet!) is secretly thinking, “This economy is bumming me out!” And so, dear ones, although I am reading Orwell, along with the Tibetan Book of the Dead, it is actually an episode from my sitcom-filled ‘70s childhood that I share with you today, for its wisdom and concrete help.
Quick Preview First …
As I connected with friends and family over the holidays I was struck by two realizations:
1. We are all feeling a little exhausted from what was a very trying 2008; the good news is: there is a feeling of compassion in the air. Look around. Everyone is suffering or worrying in some way, so at least we can meet each other’s eyes (or ck each other’s updates!) and know we are not alone.
2. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could walk in each other’s boots for awhile?
If I could give a depressed friend my sense of initiative and optimism I would. Accessing those qualities is easy for me. What I have trouble with is containing my emotions. Oh how I’d love it if a cool-headed pal could give me some Obama-esque evenness just when I’m about to panic. (New York Jews, I know you relate to the hysteria of which I speak). We don’t choose our natures, and tolerating our own emotional challenges (and each other’s) is a daily test of compassion.
Okay, all that feeling is so 2008. Let’s get practical. My vice is dark chocolate (70 –85 % cocoa content). I have friends whose vices include online shopping, procrastinating, and good wine. (And good whine too, now that I think of it).
While ruminating on my own circle of peeps, a microchosm of humanity … I thought of an episode from “Alice” – the late ‘70s sitcom about the single mom waitress, based on the 1974 Scorsese movie, “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.” The TV show, of course, was best known for sassy waitress Flo’s frequent retort, “Kiss my grits.” The episode I remembered was called “Block those Kicks” and focused on (Diner Proprietor) Mel’s efforts to kick his gambling habit. The girls (waitresses Alice, Flo and ditzy Vera) decide to help the big lug by giving up their vices (chocolate, coffee and tobacco, respectively) in a show of support … for 48 hours. Need I tell you that hijinks ensue?
My book, Bang the Keys: Four Steps to a Lifelong Writing Practice, comes out with Penguin this summer. But who can wait that long?? In the meantime:
FIRST WRITING (AND LIFE!) EXERCISE FOR 2009:
If you’re a writer, this should be easy and fun (oh, wait, I forgot you are a writer and are tortured!!):
1. Take a handful of your characters and explore their vices. My recommendation is to write a scene in which your gambler, womanizer, self-mutilator, etc. actually is immersed in his vice, so we can see it, feel it, experience it with him. Try 500 words to start. But if it’s too hard to get there right away, try just free-writing (5 minutes, without stopping, completely uncensored) about this character and his vice, in a free-associative way. Do this for a 2nd character, then a 3rd then a 4th.
2. Next: switch your characters’ vices. Imagine your rigid, uptight planner now suffers from extreme naivete, or cocaine addiction, or foot-in-mouth syndrome. Try the above exercise with this new vice. Then give your 2nd character a different vice, and your 3rd, and your 4th. Put them in a room together; see what happens.
If you are just starting out and don’t know where to begin, begin with a character’s compulsion and see where it takes you. If you are far along in your writing, but are experiencing the “So-what blues” then give your characters a vice that you can relate to or that you have observed in a friend, or one you can vividly imagine.
Since writing and real life overlap a great deal in my world, let me add this: as an exercise in empathy and generosity, offer up some support to a friend struggling with a particular monkey-on-the-back, and ask for support with yours. And if you have to start gambling (like a buddy) in order to kick your own caffeine habit (or vice versa) …so be it! And I swear to you, I will discover the Dali Lama’s vice … if it takes me all of 2009! And now …
Is one of your New Year’s resolutions for 2009 to get some writing done? Then read on, and don’t weep …
WRITING WORKSHOPS FOR THE NEW YEAR:
Limited space, SIGN UP NOW.
Create A Writing Practice That Will Last A Lifetime.
My Manhattan "BANG THE KEYS" writing workshop runs Tues nights
Jan 20, 27, Feb 3, 10, 17 & 24
6:30 to 8:30 on W. 43rd St near 8th Ave. $250
I’ll also be doing a Wed night wkshp in Brooklyn:
Jan 21, 28, Feb. 4, 11, 18, and 25 from 6-8pm. $250
Payment plans possible for this crap-pay economy.
Write to JillDearman@gmail.com / or leave msg at 212.841.0177 now to reserve your spot.
To get a sense of how I work check out my Writer Magazine article, "Which Type of Writer are YOU?" www.jilldearman.com/JillWriterMagNov07.pdf
And see my website for client endorsements: www.jilldearman.com/services.html
The Workshop:
As a bon vivant New Yorker do you find it hard to say no to cocktails at five and yes to sitting down to write a thousand words? This workshop is just as lively and intoxicating as a drunken brouhaha but without the maudlin regrets.
In this workshop you will:
•Set a writing goal (with deadline!) and meet it.
•Structure your time so that you actually keep your fabulous NY life (well most of it) AND get some writing done.
•Develop tools that will help you to independently continue your writing practice.
• Develop methods for writing regularly and productively rather than just when the muse strikes.
• Connect with supportive and dedicated fellow writers
Say yes to your writing and no to distractions and defeatist thinking…or shut up already!
Please feel free to pass along to any scribes in your circle of friends, colleagues and co-conspirators. (FYI, as a private writing coach I see a limited number of folks in Brooklyn and Manhattan and have many private phone clients outside of NYC. Write to me and we can figure out a strategy for you to kick your blocks in ’09. Pls. Forward this note, or link to my blog to your writerly pals): www.jilldearman.blogspot.com
I can be reached for all questions at jilldearman@gmail.com
My website is www.bangthekeys.com
And now, what you’ve been waiting for:
THERE’S A NEW GIRL IN TOWN AND SHE’S…LOOKING GOOD!
A taste of the “Alice” episode in question:
Flo: Well, all right, I'll go along, Mel. I'm willing to give up the thing that means most to me.
Mel: That's bad news for half of the guys in Phoenix.
Flo: I was talkin' about coffee!
“Alice” sitcom theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=423L76rzui8
and by the way. Anyone who knows George Russell … chiropractor, and fellow bon vivant, it’s hard not to think of him when watching that vid.
Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
What a Year! Astro Consults for Xmas/Jill's Year End Mini-Report
Yo Ho Ho!
As most of you know, I work primarily as a writer and writing coach these days. (My new book, Bang the Keys: Four Steps to a Lifelong Writing Practice, comes out this summer, with Penguin). However, I have a long, torrid, lurid, but never horrid history as a Jungian Astrologist (and author of Queer Astrology, published by St. Martins) as well.
Since we basically went to hell and back as a species this past year, and since the year is ending I thought I'd better post this short blog report, and let folks know that I am doing a little astro special for the holidays/new year (great gifts!): One hour consult, by phone or in person for $100. I'll look at your chart; check out your transits and mainline some important matters for you personally to meditate on; and help you to mainline a plan of action for '09. The time is yours, so I'm also happy to look up partners' charts, etc. Okay, on to some important notes for us all.
PLUTO ENDS ONE CRAZY 12 YEAR CYCLE, ANOTHER KINDA CRAZY BEGINS
Pluto, planet of self-transformation, the force that forces us to shape up or ship out, spent 12 years in the wild, erratic, religion fanatic sign of Sagittarius. Those superficial days are over, people. We learned how to laugh at ourselves (heck, my bad '80s 'do is now immortalized on Facebook!), and the world got smaller thanks to insane amounts of social networking, ubiquitous blogging (not mine of course), and other freaky, friendly endeavors.
And 2008 was a mighty transitional time. Pluto transited back and forth between the old ways of Sagittarius and the new ways of Capricorn (the sign it is now going forward in for the next twelve years). If you felt like YOU had one foot in the old world, and one in the new, this past year, you are far from alone, babe.
But now, as 2009 approaches, each of us must think of the new year, as not just a singular ushering in of the next 12 months, but a cosmic, let's get our shite together opening to a new 12 year cycle, a complete cultural shift. (Gobama!)
SUBSTANCE OVER SPIN
The Capricorn era is upon us, and although we will continue to Twitter and multi-task, a new era of seriousness will begin to overtake the superficial, spin-centric lack-of- focus focus of the previous era.
Are you clear on what your mission is, what your purpose in this world is, what you want to accomplish –– why, when, and how? If you are fuzzy on any of the abovey, lovey, I suggest you pull out your meditation cushion, and your notebook, and start ruminating. Then end your sitting session by strategizing … on paper, in clear, concise language. One of the great things about the Capricorn era is that we may actually be able to get things done, rather than just friggin' talk ourselves to death! How? By identifying our goals (personal, professional, and yes, even spiritual), writing 'em down and then working towards making them real.
The dark side?
A focus on practicality and efficiency that may feel downright corporate.
Even Oprah may have gotten a little sick of Oprah, and all the feel-good, self-esteem-building vibology that surrounded the previous Sag era (our gal Winfrey has moon in Sagittarius, btw). But, the distinct LACK of warmth and fuzziness of the times to come may be a little chilling. We may need a little Stuart Smalley! (Has he won the Senate seat yet or what?) Our social networks may have grown, but a certain reality that we must take care of our own __ whomever we can fit in our tiny lifeboat –– has become apparent.
If another terrible attack befalls us, we are first going to worry about those family and friends who comprise our inner circle, who are in our wills, and on our insurance policies (and we better have those things in place, peeps). We are not going to worry as much about people who we only know via one line updates and profile pages, are we?
Final Questions, Folks
What is your purpose? Can you and will you articulate it? How will you manifest said purpose in the real world? All these questions are very Saturnian in nature. But don't think of them as gloomy, Gus. Saturn rules Capricorn, and Capricorn is ruling us for the next decade plus. Look around and you know that time is running out for our planet, and for us, if we don't get our acts together. I've rhymed enough in this missive (sorry, I hail from Queens, and came of age in the era of Run DMC), but let me leave you with just one more:
Say "no" to distraction; take some real action.
Happy Holidays!
Need a Consult?
Shoot me a note at
JillDearman@gmail.com
For more: www.jilldearman.com
As most of you know, I work primarily as a writer and writing coach these days. (My new book, Bang the Keys: Four Steps to a Lifelong Writing Practice, comes out this summer, with Penguin). However, I have a long, torrid, lurid, but never horrid history as a Jungian Astrologist (and author of Queer Astrology, published by St. Martins) as well.
Since we basically went to hell and back as a species this past year, and since the year is ending I thought I'd better post this short blog report, and let folks know that I am doing a little astro special for the holidays/new year (great gifts!): One hour consult, by phone or in person for $100. I'll look at your chart; check out your transits and mainline some important matters for you personally to meditate on; and help you to mainline a plan of action for '09. The time is yours, so I'm also happy to look up partners' charts, etc. Okay, on to some important notes for us all.
PLUTO ENDS ONE CRAZY 12 YEAR CYCLE, ANOTHER KINDA CRAZY BEGINS
Pluto, planet of self-transformation, the force that forces us to shape up or ship out, spent 12 years in the wild, erratic, religion fanatic sign of Sagittarius. Those superficial days are over, people. We learned how to laugh at ourselves (heck, my bad '80s 'do is now immortalized on Facebook!), and the world got smaller thanks to insane amounts of social networking, ubiquitous blogging (not mine of course), and other freaky, friendly endeavors.
And 2008 was a mighty transitional time. Pluto transited back and forth between the old ways of Sagittarius and the new ways of Capricorn (the sign it is now going forward in for the next twelve years). If you felt like YOU had one foot in the old world, and one in the new, this past year, you are far from alone, babe.
But now, as 2009 approaches, each of us must think of the new year, as not just a singular ushering in of the next 12 months, but a cosmic, let's get our shite together opening to a new 12 year cycle, a complete cultural shift. (Gobama!)
SUBSTANCE OVER SPIN
The Capricorn era is upon us, and although we will continue to Twitter and multi-task, a new era of seriousness will begin to overtake the superficial, spin-centric lack-of- focus focus of the previous era.
Are you clear on what your mission is, what your purpose in this world is, what you want to accomplish –– why, when, and how? If you are fuzzy on any of the abovey, lovey, I suggest you pull out your meditation cushion, and your notebook, and start ruminating. Then end your sitting session by strategizing … on paper, in clear, concise language. One of the great things about the Capricorn era is that we may actually be able to get things done, rather than just friggin' talk ourselves to death! How? By identifying our goals (personal, professional, and yes, even spiritual), writing 'em down and then working towards making them real.
The dark side?
A focus on practicality and efficiency that may feel downright corporate.
Even Oprah may have gotten a little sick of Oprah, and all the feel-good, self-esteem-building vibology that surrounded the previous Sag era (our gal Winfrey has moon in Sagittarius, btw). But, the distinct LACK of warmth and fuzziness of the times to come may be a little chilling. We may need a little Stuart Smalley! (Has he won the Senate seat yet or what?) Our social networks may have grown, but a certain reality that we must take care of our own __ whomever we can fit in our tiny lifeboat –– has become apparent.
If another terrible attack befalls us, we are first going to worry about those family and friends who comprise our inner circle, who are in our wills, and on our insurance policies (and we better have those things in place, peeps). We are not going to worry as much about people who we only know via one line updates and profile pages, are we?
Final Questions, Folks
What is your purpose? Can you and will you articulate it? How will you manifest said purpose in the real world? All these questions are very Saturnian in nature. But don't think of them as gloomy, Gus. Saturn rules Capricorn, and Capricorn is ruling us for the next decade plus. Look around and you know that time is running out for our planet, and for us, if we don't get our acts together. I've rhymed enough in this missive (sorry, I hail from Queens, and came of age in the era of Run DMC), but let me leave you with just one more:
Say "no" to distraction; take some real action.
Happy Holidays!
Need a Consult?
Shoot me a note at
JillDearman@gmail.com
For more: www.jilldearman.com
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Penguin to Publish BANG THE KEYS, summer 09!
HI FOLKS, HERE'S THE OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM PUBLISHERS LUNCH (see below)! FYI Alpha Books is a nonfiction imprint of Penguin...
Speaking of Penguins ... question: if your main character were an animal what would he or she be, and why? Animal lovers (like myself) await your comments!
September 24, 2008
Non-fiction:
General/Other
Jill Dearman's BANG THE KEYS: Four Steps to a Lifelong Writing Practice, a writing workshop in a book for the 21st century concentration-challenged, which brings a mischievous, effective, and literate approach to the craft and practice of writing, to Michele Wells at Alpha Books, for publication in Spring 2009, by Janet Rosen at Sheree Bykofsky Associates (world).
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